Coming Out Isn't the End

This post comes in the wake of national coming out day:

Its been a long time since I've been 'in the closet'. Like many people who have a closet they've had to come out of, I still remember vividly what it was like to be in it; lonely, quiet, and full of fear. Always looking over your shoulder, hoping not to be caught. Every free moment of thought consumed by your secret. Its really not pleasant, obviously.

Being 'out' is truly liberating. Talking to almost any LGBT*Q person would probably make that abundantly clear. For me, its been 6 years of a (mostly) great experience. I have been proud, and loud, and many people who know me can attest to that - in case this blog didn't make it clear enough. During my time in California this summer though, a funny thing happened... I seemed to have been placed back into a closet.

Intersex - What is it, and what it means for sexuality.

Lately I have been doing a lot of thinking about the gender and sexuality spectrum. I've discussed many things, from how we can and should define bisexuality, to whether sexual orientation should be a special class from other attractions. I will most likely do separate posts on each of these but one of the topics which interests me most is that of  biological sex. What is sex? What are its defining characteristics? And how does it intersect with our many other characteristics and identities?

Grindr Series: Are profiles on Grindr discriminatory?

As a quick refresher, Grindr is one of the most popular gay social apps out there. It is often portrayed as an app for getting quick, anonymous sex, and is typically used as an example of everything that is wrong with the gay community. That being said, there are many different kinds of people who fill the virtual halls of Grindr and all of them seem to have different goals for the use of said app.

Mathew Rodriguez's blog post on the Huffington Post follows the trend by demonizing the idea of anonymous sex and singling out Grindr as the epitome of everything wrong within the gay community. Describing the original intent of the app - the original use was apparently for gay men to consult Grinder to muster up the courage to talk to someone across the bar - Rodriguez describes the app as 'running afoul' because of us 'mere horny mortals', and calls it a place where there is limited space for self-expression, and complains about the rampant 'flattening' of personalities.

What We Can Learn About Labels From Tom Daley's 'Coming Out'

So, exciting news! For those of you that don't know - Tom Daley has 'come out'! You know that really cute British diver? Yeah, that one... He came out the other week - posted a video online and it was really exciting for so many people around the world. Because of all the media attention, he has probably given lots of people some courage or comfort, and maybe even influenced some to come out themselves. Unfortunately, all the attention also means that there are so many things that people said or did that were negative. Some of those need to be addressed.

FCKH8 - An Open Letter

I'm sure that many of you have heard of the company and activist organization called the FCKH8 Campaign. They are an organization that aims to fight homophobia in the USA and around the world. They are widely known and seen because of their abrasive approach to the issue of equality and tolerance.

Below is a letter sent by my partner and colleague Jesse Bachir. Jesse is an activist and an academic in law at Durham University and also contributes to the blog Inherently Human.

Trans* Rights - Disclose Your Gender History or it May Be Rape

The idea of transgender rights is not all that new. In many civilizations transgender, genderqueer, and in general gender minorities have been treated in certain specific ways. These customs may or may not have been codified into written laws but they can be seen as conventional laws or practices. However it is relatively new to our society and as such, there are no rules on how treat individuals who defy our gender norms and it seems that the law is struggling to keep up.

In the United Kingdom there has been a flurry of recent cases (here, here, and here) that all have to do with gender representation and how it affects sexual activity. Particularly, these cases revolve around issues of consent. These cases are important because they are setting the legal precedent for future cases, and unfortunately it seems that they are finding it to be a criminal offense to have sex with someone without disclosing your 'gender'.

New Jersey - Gay Marriage...What Now?

As I hope many of you have heard, earlier today New Jersey became the 14th state to allow same sex couples the right to marry! After many years of hard work by organizations like Garden State Equality, the courts ruled that same sex couples were being denied an equal right and ordered marriages to start today October 21st. 

After petitions from both Governor Christie and many in the state legislature, the Supreme Court of New Jersey decided to consider the appeal filed by the State before today. Friday afternoon they finally released their decision to allow the marriages to start and refused Christie's appeal for a stay. It was an exciting moment and it led to even more exciting moments all day today as couples from all across the state- previously denied the joy and privilege of being married- finally realized their dreams.

Pride - Is It Needed Now?

This past June was Pride month in the United States and during that month Pride festivals were held all around the country. In addition, the Supreme Court of the United States decided to strike down DOMA as unconstitutional - and so this year's festivals after that decision were probably some of the biggest and most attended in a long time. This also means that they have and will get a lot of attention. There seems to be a lot of confusion on what exactly Pride is, what it stands for, and its purpose so hopefully I can explain some of that here.

Prop 8 Today - US Supreme Court

Today is a historic day for the US as the Proposition 8 case will be heard by the Supreme Court of the United States (SCOTUS).

This issue, although more popularized than in the past, is still quite controversial. The Proposition 8 case is about whether or not states, specifically California, have the authority to deny marriage to same-sex couples.

Grindr - Degrading?

Since my last post on Grindr, I have received some feedback about people who think Grindr is just degrading to anyone who uses it for hookups. This they say is regardless of their sexual orientation. In regards to the app, one person had this to say "In my opinion its disgusting and just another way to find a hookup, and everyone that I known to use it only uses it to hook up with other men. Needless to say, Im not a fan." The same person clarified, after a response from myself, saying "What I'm saying is its degrading to use if you're using it for hook ups (which most do); no matter what your sexuality is."

Now I am not one to say that nobody can hold this opinion. You certainly can. And I won't say that you can't or try to force you to not hold this opinion, but I think it is an interesting point of discussion. I find it particularly interesting because there are even those who are feminists who hold similar views. The general view seems to be that these apps when used for hooking up is degrading.

SCOTUS and Marriage Equality: Westboro Baptists Gives Their Two Cents

So I know I already did a post about the many many briefs that have been filed with SCOTUS about their upcoming cases on marriage equality, but today I found out that the Westboro Baptist Church (WBC) submitted their own brief to the court. Let's have some fun and analyze just a bit of it!

The brief starts off by clarifying that it is being filed in support of no party. It says specifically, "The Westboro Baptist Church of Topeka, Kansas respectfully submits this amicus curiae brief in support of no party, but in favor of reversal." I already have to pause and laugh. If they are supporting reversal is that not supporting the appellant? That is what they are there for and that's what WBC is pushing for. Seems like support for the appellant to me.

Massachusetts School Directive on Transgender and Gender Nonconforming Youth

On February 15th the Massachusetts Department of Education issued an 11 page directive on the proper ways to go about addressing having a transgender student. The directive was made in response to the 2011 antidiscrimination act that took effect in the summer of 2012 and questions from those who weren't sure how to handle children who don't confrom to society's gender standards.

The directive has come under fire recently because it instructs schools to allow students who are biologically male but identify as a girl to use the girl's locker rooms, bathrooms, etc. Fox's Bill O'Reilly addressed the directive in a segment on February 26th.

 

Trans Expulsion in California Raises Many Questions

It has come into the public eye recently that a California school, California Baptist University (CBU), expelled a student because she is transgender. As is usually the case, it may not be a simple as that but that certainly seems to be the case.

Domaine Javier

In early 2011 Domaine Javier, was accepted to CBU's nursing program and was receiving two scholarships. In April 2011 Domaine appeared on an episode of MTV's "True Life" titled, "I'm Passing as Someone I'm Not" (the name of the episodes is an issues in and of itself) and revealed that she is transgender.

American Sociological Association Destroys Position Against Same-Sex Parenting

Earlier today the American Sociological Association (ASA) filed a brief to the Supreme Court in support of marriage equality. In the brief the ASA focused on same-sex parenting and clearly states that children fare just as well when raised by same-sex couples. The ASA states, "When the social science evidence is exhaustively examined -- which the ASA has done -- the facts demonstrate that children fare just as well when raised by same-sex parents. Unsubstantiated fears regarding same-sex child rearing do not overcome these facts and do not justify upholding DOMA and Proposition 8."

US Marriage Equality: Getting Support from All Sides

In case you, my valued reader, were not aware the US is on the verge of having a major step taken in the battle for marriage equality. While it is no sure thing, with all the recent reports of whats been happening there's seems to be an atmosphere thats well prepared for a step forward.

Today has presented the world with a truly great thing. Today President Barack Obama filed an amicus brief to the Supreme Court regarding the case for marriage equality and Proposition 8. In case you didn't know the specifics, Prop 8 was a ballot measure in California that removed the (already judicially given) right to marry a person of the same sex. The measure was challenged and struck in all the lower courts and has been appealed all the way to the Supreme Court.

The Supreme Court is not only considering Prop 8 regarding marriage equality though. There have been many cases brought up throughout the country surrounding the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA), a piece of legislation signed when Clinton was in office, that prohibits federal recognition of same sex partnerships as marriages and the subsequent rights that entail from such a status.

Grindr - Only for gay men?

I read an article today on PinkNews written by a gay man and his view of Grindr. More broadly he discusses his views on Questioning and Bisexual men and their use of the mobile dating application. For those of you who are straight and don't know what Grindr is, or anyone else who isn't sure about what it is, its a mobile dating application that specifically caters to gay men. On the app you create a profile and can upload a picture and put a short description about yourself and basic stats. Like many of these kinds of things the app is regularly used as a hook-up app, although thats not to say that people don't also use it to find dates. Here is a video by DaveyWavey (I love him) as quick introduction to the app:

NOM Spokesperson on being friends with LGBT people and Tyler Clementi

Maybe some of you remember this; just before thanksgiving NOM spokes person, Jennifer Roback Morse, released a video on NOM's Ruth Institute warning those in college settings to avoid being friends with LGBT youth.

Now Morse has apparently reversed her position on the issue. Apparently earlier this month Morse spoke to students at Iowa State University and encouraged them to be friends with those who are 'confused' (she doesn't recognize that there is a different sexual orientation from heterosexual) so as to save them from being lonely and confused.

Homelessness, A Tragedy

This is an interesting and thought provoking photo. Just looking at the photo how true do you think that poster is? In my experience it certainly seems true. I've lived and been in NYC plenty and been to many major cities in the US (Chicago, Boston, San Diego, San Francisco, Berkley, Ann Arbor, Houston, etc.) and there are homeless in all of them.

Obviously there are more in some places than others but they are there regardless of where you are and regardless of where you are people tend to have the same reaction to them. People are disgusted, or look down on them, some pity, and some empathize, but most commonly people just ignore them. Selective attention is a powerful thing and that seems to be exactly what people have when walking around these places that are literally littered with homeless.

London Ex-Gay Ad Fiasco - Back Again

The prosed ad campaign.

Today Boris Johnson, the Mayor of London, today is being taken to court over a decision made last May concerning ads that were to be posted on buses in London. Maybe some of you heard about this or were following the turn of events back then. If not and you want a rundown on what was happening you can see a story on it here and here.

The decision to not allow the advertisement to run on the London buses is being challenged as an infringement on the group's free speech. Specifically they are calling it a 'stifling' of their free speech, and a worrisome turn towards 'reverse discrimination'.

Law and Sexuality: A Theoretical Exploration - Part 1 Defining Terms/Concepts

Often times the law does not reflect academic results. This is especially true when it comes to mental disorders and issues of psychology. A big area that the law doesn't seem to recognize or understand fully seems to be the idea of human sexuality. Human sexuality is complex, and our understanding of it ever growing, but it seems difficult for the law to keep up with developments in the academic fields.

Sexuality is first broken down into three main categories:

Sexual Identity, which constitutes one's inner feelings about themselves in relation to others and even their bodies. It incorporates the biological aspect of sex, but also things around intercourse.

Sexual Expression, is similar to identity in that it also incorporates biological sex and intercourse, but as the name implies it is more about how such things are expressed. It seems to be a more physical whereas sexual identity is more internalized and metaphysical, and has to do with self association.

And then Gender. Gender has to do with ones social role and social identities.

Each of these categories are part of sexuality as they have to do with how you relate to yourself and others sexually, as well as your sexual desires and actions. Each aspect can be broken down into other aspects that address such desires and relations more specifically.