The Victim Culture Myth

Anyone who has been involved in social justice has heard this excuse: "that just causes people to have a victim complex" or "that just creates a victim culture." Those words are the bane of my existence. They strike at the very core of why I am so adamant about creating conversations and change.

Hearing those words for the first time - thrown up in defense of some ridiculous position - it made me feel like I had been oppressing the people I was trying to help, that I might be encouraging such weakness. Of course the more I thought about it, the more ridiculous it sounds. How is discouraging people from doing wrongs encouraging weakness? How could encouraging people to speak out when they are being bullied or abused take power from them? Frankly, it does not.

This argument relies on us equating victimhood with being weak, it turns the tables and says that you are taking power from people and that isn't something any activist wants. But that never is the case. Victims are strong. And they become stronger when we allow and encourage them to speak out and help themselves.

I am not a victim myself (except maybe to society's ignorance). I haven't been abused, nor was I bullied in school, but I've met victims and survivors and they are some of the most amazing people I have ever encountered. They are brave, and kind, and can see wonder in the little things.

'Victim culture' and 'victim complex' arguments take away all of their power, and credit. It demeans their accomplishments and it silences their voices. It demands that they hide so that the rest of us can feel better about the world in which we pretend to live. It's not only victim blaming but also victim shaming, which is so much worse. To have such disregard as to the many emotions that are coupled with victimhood and then to add shame on top of it all is so insensitive it's almost inhuman.

We as a society need to relearn what it means to be a victim and recognize which part of victimization is truly bad. Its not being a victim which is negative, but victimizing others. So please, lets stop demonizing victims and start shining the light on the guilty parties.

Intersex - What is it, and what it means for sexuality.

Lately I have been doing a lot of thinking about the gender and sexuality spectrum. I've discussed many things, from how we can and should define bisexuality, to whether sexual orientation should be a special class from other attractions. I will most likely do separate posts on each of these but one of the topics which interests me most is that of  biological sex. What is sex? What are its defining characteristics? And how does it intersect with our many other characteristics and identities?

Making Prisoners Pay for Their Food and Medical Care is Absurd

I was talking to some people the other day about the criminal justice system in the US and, among other things, the issue of prisons and prisoners' rights came up. We talked about the idea of privatized prisons, what they mean to people, and how they reflect people's understandings of society and justice.

Someone mentioned the proposal in Nevada that inmates start to pay for their daily food and all medical expenses. In general we were all in agreement that this was a bad idea. What happens when they can't pay for food? What happens when they can't pay for medical care? Do we let them starve and get sick? Its not like inmates make much money. Who else this could effect? The family members of the prisoners would likely be the first asked to help out the inmates financially. None of these situations sound like something anybody would want.

An interesting suggestion was made about how the inmates might pay. We could treat it like a loan. Give the prisoners their accommodation, medical care, food, etc. and have them pay back the 'loan' once they get out. This idea, seemingly good on the surface, falls short in my mind.

Ableism and Disability Erasure in the Social Justice Community

I recently got into a bit of a fight on the internet over Social Justice blogs and erasure. Long story short, a blogger that I respect (much as we may disagree) argued that Social Justice blogs and sites that don't talk about the issues of disabled people are inherently bigots because they contribute to erasure. Which, valid point seeing as most SJ blogs and articles focus more on LGBTQ issues, race issues, and feminist ones, without inclusion of disabilities. Because there are disabled feminists, disabled GSM people, and disabled people of color, and even disabled straight white people. But we don't talk about them.

I tried to argue that not talking about disability issues didn't inherently make them prejudiced although some of them very well may be, but I totally stuck my foot in my mouth. Thats what I get for arguing with people on the internet on an insomnia bender.

Do We Need Sex Negative Feminism?

Beyoncé 'coming out' as feminist

In todays celebrity-driven culture, feminism is becoming more mainstream now that icons like Beyonce, Tina Fey, Jennifer Lawrence, Ellen DeGeneres, and Ke$ha are 'coming out' as feminists. At the very least, it seems that feminist principles are being passed on to the younger generations.

There's a growing conversation about sexuality, particularly women's sexuality and its place in our culture today. Many of these conversations focus on looking at things in a positive light so that campaigns for body positivity and sex-positive conversations are now rather abundant- especially those campaigns and conversations that come with backing from celebrities.

Grindr Series: Are profiles on Grindr discriminatory?

As a quick refresher, Grindr is one of the most popular gay social apps out there. It is often portrayed as an app for getting quick, anonymous sex, and is typically used as an example of everything that is wrong with the gay community. That being said, there are many different kinds of people who fill the virtual halls of Grindr and all of them seem to have different goals for the use of said app.

Mathew Rodriguez's blog post on the Huffington Post follows the trend by demonizing the idea of anonymous sex and singling out Grindr as the epitome of everything wrong within the gay community. Describing the original intent of the app - the original use was apparently for gay men to consult Grinder to muster up the courage to talk to someone across the bar - Rodriguez describes the app as 'running afoul' because of us 'mere horny mortals', and calls it a place where there is limited space for self-expression, and complains about the rampant 'flattening' of personalities.

What We Can Learn About Labels From Tom Daley's 'Coming Out'

So, exciting news! For those of you that don't know - Tom Daley has 'come out'! You know that really cute British diver? Yeah, that one... He came out the other week - posted a video online and it was really exciting for so many people around the world. Because of all the media attention, he has probably given lots of people some courage or comfort, and maybe even influenced some to come out themselves. Unfortunately, all the attention also means that there are so many things that people said or did that were negative. Some of those need to be addressed.